Where Did My Baby Go?? Really.

It’s 3:20 a.m. on Sunday and I’m awake sobbing. Why? During a “normal” bout of insomnia, I went to get paper and a pen to write something down so my brain would be free to go back to sleep. Only I made the mistake of turning on the light in the dining room, allowing me to see all the stuff from Mahalia’s 2^nd birthday party yesterday afternoon. All of a sudden, it hit me…My baby girl is TWO-YEARS-OLD!!! Why is that so sad? Well, I guess it really isn’t, but it is very bittersweet. Although I love watching Mahalia grow and learn and become this little person that she is, I miss the little baby that I had so briefly. I swear it feels like only last week that I was feeling her move inside my belly. Then a few days later we were welcoming her into the world and bringing her home for the first time. Then the next day she was my chunka-lunka baby with the big head who needed an ultrasound. Then I blinked and it was the next day and she was turning ONE (?!). Now she’s already TWO?! I don’t know how parents manage to have teenagers or adult children who were just babies yesterday, if I can’t get over my baby being two already. How do you let go of that little baby? I know that I still have many years before Mahalia is old enough to say she wants to move out and experience the world, but it feels like I only have a few more minutes with her.

The other day when we were driving to the store to get some things for her birthday party, I looked in the mirror because she made a noise while eating her snack. It was just one of those little “baby girl” noises, but I had the thought that it was a noise that I would one day not hear from her. Then I thought, Oh my God! One of these days when I look in this mirror, I’m not going to see my little girl back there anymore, I’ll see a BIG KID. And I just started crying. To the point where I had to tell myself to STOP! I thought it was just pregnancy hormones at the time, but now I’m thinking it was more than that. It was the slow down feeling that I’m sure all parents have when it comes to their kids.

Bernie Mac wrote a comment in his book about parenting that has stuck with me since I read it (maybe a couple of years ago). He said something about how being a parent is the only job where, if you’re doing it right, you work yourself out of a job. I remember thinking how sad that sounded at the time when I read it, but now it scares me. I obviously want to do a good job with Mahalia, but I also can’t imagine letting her go….EVER…but I know I will have to one day. I want Mahalia to have all the experiences I have had so far…and the ones that I never had that she will want to have. Plus, I never want to be “that” mom who desperately smothers and clings to their kids. That wouldn’t be fair to Mahalia.

I guess I will just have to keep reminding myself to focus on now and make the most out of every second that I have with her.

Where Did My Baby Go?

There have recently been some big changes in the Merrill household.

1. Last Thursday, Mahalia had to say goodbye to her hoss-hoss (pacifier). It was just time. That day was really rough on all of us, but things got easier a little more each day after that. After that first day when she asked for her pacifier several times, she only asked for it about 1-2 times each day for about a week. As of today, however, she hasn't asked for it since this past Thursday (8/19). That's pretty impressive for a kid who was obsessed with her paci for pretty much her whole life...all 21 months that she had it. =) Here is the video of the big goodbye:

2. Along with saying goodbye to her pacifier, Mahalia also said goodbye to playing with mommy's hair. If you have spent any time with us in the past 8 months, you know that Mahalia has had an intense love affair with my hair. She started out playing with it just when she was falling asleep but then graduated to an all-day obsession. She would stroke, pull, or rub my hair anytime I was anywhere near her on any given day. Well, I never thought I would miss it (and mostly, I don't), but I did get a little sad when she stopped showing interest so abruptly. The good thing is that I might get to keep my hair attached to my head from now on AND I won't have to come up with a way to wean her off of it. The only thing I could come up with was shaving my head...Jeremy said no to that idea.

3. Mahalia has definitely become a big "daddy's girl" in the past week. Before taking away her pacifier, and during the time that Jeremy has been out of school for the summer, Mahalia seemed to have an equal preference for both of us. But ever since her MEAN MOMMY made her give away her pacifiers and her HERO DADDY comforted her, Mahalia has been pretty obvious about her preference for "Dada". Part of me is glad that she is bonding more with him, but part of me is scared that when he goes back to school this week, she will have the biggest meltdown of all time...and guess who gets to bear the brunt of that? Mommy! Yay! =(

4. On Sunday (8/15) Mahalia started potty training! And SHE was the one who initiated it! Each of the first two days, she went once and it was either right before or right after taking a bath. Starting on the third day, however, she now uses it several times throughout the day. Although she has had several accidents, she is generally pretty good about going on the potty. I think the biggest reasons for her success are that 1. she was ready, 2. she gets M&Ms for going (2 for pee and 5 for poop...it is a big deal!), and 3. we praise her A LOT for being a big girl who uses the potty. Whenever she goes, she has to tell the parent who didn't go with her to the bathroom all about it. She is so proud and excited about it! It's pretty cute. =)

5. Mahalia seems to be able to communicate more and more every day. She often uses 3-4 word sentences (even if some of the words are hard to understand). Some of the cuter things that she says are "Goodnight, Mommy/Dada", "You okay?", "(Name), where are you?", and "Here you go" (usually when feeding Marley, but also when bringing our shoes to us so we can take her somewhere). She enjoys telling us (and anyone else who will listen) about the sounds that various animals make or just identifying different animals. She is often heard putting her babies/stuffed animals/bath toys on "time-out". Mahalia also seems to like learning people's names lately. Lucky for her, we have lots of family and friends whose names she can learn. =)

6. Mahalia has been going to swim lessons for the past few weeks. We go twice a week (Monday and Wednesday) for 30 minutes. Jeremy and I usually switch off each time so that each of us gets to go in the pool with her. She loves being in the water, but isn't always cooperative about doing the activities that she's supposed to be doing. To help her get more comfortable with some of her least favorite activities (like swimming on her back and blowing bubbles) we try to go swimming in our pool at least once between Wednesday and Monday. We went to our pool this past Friday and Mahalia had the most fun that she's ever had in the pool! She decided it was fun to jump in the pool over and over again. She became so confident that I could move about 3-4 feet away from where she was jumping in and she was okay with it...even when she was going pretty far under the water. Now we just have to make sure she learns NOT to jump in when one of us isn't in the water to catch her! =) One of her favorite parts of swim lessons is singing songs. Her favorite song is "Motor Boat". She likes to sing it when we go in our pool, when she's taking a bath, or just randomly when she's playing with her toys. =)

Well, I think those are the major things that have been happening since the last update. I will most likely be posting something about her reaction to Jeremy returning to work this week. Stay tuned...

Mahalia is a Busy Girl

A lot of things have happened since the last time that I posted something on here, but there is just too much for me to write it all right now. So, here are just some of the things that have been going on in the life of Miss Mahalia in the past few months...

UTI

Unfortunately, Mahalia had to deal with having a urinary tract infection for about two months. She was on two rounds of antibiotics. Apparently she was resistant to the first one, so that's why she still had the UTI a month later and needed more antibiotics. That whole period made for a very uncomfortable baby, but we finally got through it. Yesterday we found out that IT'S GONE! Hopefully she never gets another one again.

FRESNO

We have driven to Fresno twice in the past month. We went in June for a friend's bridal shower. The drive up and back were pretty brutal because it's the longest Mahalia has ever had to be strapped down in her car seat (about 6 hours each way). We stopped a few times both ways, but it was still a little too much. When we went up there for Yvette & Frank's wedding this weekend, we divided up the trip, so that we did part of it on Thursday and the rest on Friday. Mahalia did much better! However, on the day of the wedding, she wasn't so happy when I had to leave her for over 6 hours (I was in the wedding; Jeremy and Mahalia didn't go to the ceremony because we thought she would probably have a problem with seeing me but not being allowed to go to me; they met me at the reception later that evening). Overall, we had a good time despite Mahalia's meltdowns when she wasn't allowed to be with mommy.

WORDS GALORE

Mahalia's vocabulary has continued to rapidly increase. She is now putting together complete sentences...at times. For example, this morning when she was eating breakfast and talking to grandma on the phone, she told grandma "I eatin oh-guht" (yogurt). Some of her other words include saying "thank you" correctly (instead of "cuh-cum"), "beshoo" (bless you), "be careful", "there you go" (when feeding marley), "elent" (elephant), "yee-yee-uh" (how she says her name), "bah-loon" (balloon), and "uncle" (she can correctly identify two of her uncles in pictures...I won't say which two). The list could go on and on, but those are some of her most frequent words/expressions lately. She can also tell you the sound that several different animals make and it's pretty cute to listen to her. =)

LIKES & DISLIKES

Mahalia has been afraid of quite a few things lately, so we are trying to work on overcoming those fears. Usually, her fears stem from loud noises and scary faces. Example: motorcycles, barking dogs, airplanes, the members of the band Kiss (on the Dr. Pepper commercial), clowns, etc. We have made a lot of progress helping her to overcome her fear of motorcycles. Unfortunately, Jeremy is afraid that she'll grow up thinking that motorcycles are cool now. =)

Some things that Mahalia loves are balloons, stickers, kitties, water (especially the pool), babies (real ones and dolls). This list could go on and on also. She is definitely more aware of things lately and is more curious about figuring things out.

Well, I know that's not all that has happened in the past couple of months, but those are some of the biggest things going on with the little girl these days. =)

Teeth, Words, Visitors, and a Wedding

Well, it has been another busy month in the Merrill household...Mahalia now has her top two molars, is saying some new words, had several visitors, went to her first wedding, and she is just becoming more and more "grown up".

Some of Mahalia's new words/phrases have included "Don't want", "uh oh", "oh gosh" (she says this with her head back and stomach out, like she just can't believe what's happening), "hi, ga-ma" (she was peeking at my mom while she was getting ready in the bathroom), "It's Kyla!", "la-you" (for "i love you"!!! Jeremy and I LOVE hearing this and try to make her say it all the time!), "uncle" (she was talking to her Uncle Boo when she said it for the first time...which made him very happy), "apple", "buh-nuh-nuh" (for "banana"...her favorite thing to eat...she would eat them all day if we let her), and "pwease" (for "please").

Maile and Emma came to visit us for a few hours one day last month. Mahalia seems to understand that she should be gentle with kids that are smaller than her so she was being very cautious around Emma. Emma was wanting to interact with Mahalia a little more than that though. I know eventually they will figure it out and be the best of friends...especially since Maile and I are already talking about the sleepovers that they will have when they get older. =)

Mahalia and I have gone to visit the Schaefers and they have come to see us in the last month and a half. When we went to visit them, Mahalia was being a little cranky towards Bryant by the end of our visit. She didn't want him to hug or kiss her when he wanted to (she would get mad and yell at him), but she was very happy to spend time with him and was all for his love and affection when they came to visit us this past week. Thank goodness! I was feeling bad for Bryant and hoping it was only a temporary thing. Jackie and I took the kids to the zoo on the last day that they were here. While there, we finally bought both of them one of those harness/backpack/leash things that I always thought were "horrible" and swore I would NEVER use on my child...until I had a strong-willed child who thinks she should be able to walk wherever she wants without holding my hand. I LOVE it and Mahalia seemed to like the extra freedom that she got from wearing it, so I guess it's not so bad.

Some of my family (my mom, Kamaya, Kyla, and Jalen) came to visit us for 10 days at the beginning of the month and we had lots of fun doing lots of things. Since they were here during Easter, we did some Easter-related things, like decorate eggs and sugar cookies, and go on an egg hunt (in the grass in front of our complex). We also went to the Birch Aquarium, the zoo, and up to L.A. Mahalia had a BLAST playing and spending time with her cousins! I was a little nervous leading up to the visit because Mahalia has a history of not always adjusting well to new situations. However, I was SO HAPPY that everything worked out and that everyone had fun. I just wish we lived closer so I could have more time with my nieces and nephews and so Mahalia could play with her cousins more often than once a year.

Mahalia was able to go with us to my friend Sarah's wedding a couple of weeks ago. During the ceremony, Jeremy and I took turns walking her around a few times when she got a little too loud, but overall, she was pretty well-behaved. She even made many of the other guests laugh when the officiant introduced the parents of the bride and groom at the end of the ceremony...Mahalia cheered and said "Yay!" when this happened. =) She also cheered for everyone in the bridal party when they were introduced at the beginning of the reception. It was pretty funny! =) During the reception she enjoyed all the music and food and didn't start acting "crazy" until close to the end of the reception (it was around 9:30 pm, so we were okay with leaving at that point). Overall, we were pretty proud of her...especially since the only other child that was at the wedding was a 17-day-old newborn.

Well, I think I've covered everything. We hope everyone is doing well. =)

16-Months-Old and Growing Up Too Quickly

Mahalia's vocabulary has continued to grow exponentially in the past month. She says soooo many words/phrases, it's unbelievable that she's only 16-months-old. One of the GREATEST words that seems to be (finally) permanent in her vocabulary is "mama". She used to say it pretty sporadically, but it was more like "mamama" and she would usually say it when she was hungry. Well in the past few weeks she has been saying it more and more and it's specifically for ME! It makes me smile so big every time I hear her say it. =) So, now she can identify the people in her immediate family: mama, dada, and pup-pup ("pup-pup" is said the most frequently and with more enthusiasm than the other two words but we're not complaining). =) Also included in her growing vocabulary is the word water...only she doesn't quite say it like that. She started by saying "wa-duh", then it was "wa-wa" or "wa-tuh", then it was "wa-ger" and currently it is "wa-gee" or "wa-gay". We're not really sure why it has morphed in such a weird way, but it's pretty cute because it's unique to her. =) Mahalia can also say the names of all of the characters on Yo Gabba Gabba. She's usually only good at saying each one correctly when she's singing along with the theme song. Otherwise, she tends to call all of them Muno (although it sounds more like "Bu-lo"). Other words she says include you're welcome ("cuh-cum"), "poo-poo" (more on this in a minute), "okay??", "uh-oh", "baby"and "hair". She has said some pretty funny things that we aren't sure when/where she would have heard them: "See you later" (obviously it's not quite that clear) and "toodle-oo" (it was quite clear and we REALLY don't know where that came from)--she said this last word to Jeremy as she closed the bathroom door on him one night when she was about to take a bath. Mahalia can also say every number (almost clearly) when counting from 1-10. The cutest/funniest number, and the most recent in her vocabulary, is 7...she says "seckin". =)

So, about "poo-poo"...At the end of last month/beginning of this month, Mahalia started to say "poo-poo" after she pooped in her diaper. After doing this a few times, I decided that maybe we should start (casually) trying to potty train her. So, I went to the store and bought her a potty chair. For a few days, I would have Mahalia sit on the potty chair (diaper off, of course) whenever I was using the bathroom. She never did anything when she sat on it (and I think a couple of times she may have even waited to do something once her diaper was back on), but she was totally open to sitting there...if only for a few seconds, maybe a minute or two. Then, she and I caught Jeremy's cold and neither of us were particularly interested in working on it at that point. So, I have decided that when we are both completely well again, we will try again. I won't be doing any kind of serious potty training once we do start again because she's still pretty young and I don't want it to be a traumatizing experience at all. So, we will see how it goes and I will keep everyone posted...

P.S. There are new pictures on her shutterfly page.

Words Galore and 15-month Check-up

So, Mahalia seems to add new words to her vocabulary by the minute! She can now say her boyfriend's (Bryant) name if you ask who her boyfriend is or point to a picture of him. She also likes saying when things (especially "pup-pups") are "so cute". And when she hurts herself she is quick to let us know that she is okay, even if we haven't asked. I'm sure I am forgetting things but those are some of my favorites that come to mind at the moment.

Last Wednesday (the 17th) Mahalia had her 15-month check-up. She is such a big girl that she gets weighed on the standing scale and her height is also measured while she is standing up. She now weighs 27 lbs (95th percentile) and is 33 1/2 inches tall (98th percentile)! Mahalia had to get two shots that day to complete her series of vaccinations that started when she was 2-months-old (I can't believe that was over a year ago!!). As always, she cried when she got the shots, but this time, she was done crying by the time we got to the receptionist's desk instead of screaming until we were in the car. Her mommy did a good job handling the shots too. =) It was my second time taking her for shots without Jeremy or my mommy. I guess we're both big girls now! haha! Everything else went pretty well at the appointment. Mahalia wasn't too happy with the nurse who took us into the room and weighed/measured her (even though she didn't do anything to hurt her) and still wasn't too happy to see the doctor. On top of her normal issue with "strangers" (she hadn't seen her regular doctor since her 9-month check), her doctor had a cold and was wearing a mask. That freaked her out even more! Well, luckily he knows a thing or two about kids (haha) so he played peek-a-boo with her for a little while and then came at her from the side, without making eye contact, when he listened to her heart and lungs. So, long story short...Mahalia is still doing really well in all areas. The doctor gave me some suggestions for getting her to drink milk from a cup but also reassured me that she will be fine as long as she is getting 3 servings of milk each day.

After her appointment that day, we went to Target (surprise, surprise). There was a woman with her 20-month-old son in the elevator who was sooooo surprised when I told her that Mahalia was only 15 months. She said that her son is in the 90th+ percentile for his age...Mahalia was only a little bit smaller (height/weight) than him. I guess people will just continue to be surprised by her size for years to come because it doesn't seem like she's going to slow down that much any time soon. =)

Daddy, Mama, and Yo Gabba Gabba

I forgot to mention in the last post that for the last couple of weeks Mahalia has been saying "Bye, Daddy!" when Jeremy leaves (to go to work or walk Marley) and "Hi, Daddy!" when he gets home. It doesn't happen all the time, but it has happened pretty often lately. Jeremy and I both LOVE hearing her say these things!

Up until today, Mahalia STILL wasn't saying "mama". She has said it a few times in her little life, but it was so random and usually in reference to my milk, not me specifically. However, this afternoon I decided to do the "Mahalia--Mama" game with her (just saying the name and touching each other's chest). She said "mama" when we were doing that. I was pretty excited and almost teared up! Then tonight, I decided to try it when Jeremy could hear it and Mahalia said "My mama." Jeremy and I were both excited! Oh! Jeremy just reminded me that before I showed him the "Mahalia--Mama" game, he had asked Mahalia "Where's mommy?" and she ran over to me and said "There she is!" (which is what Jeremy says to Mahalia when he puts a blanket over her head and says "Where's Mahalia?")

And as if those things weren't cool enough, Mahalia further impressed us tonight when we were watching TV. Jeremy was scrolling through the cable guide and decided to check the episode information for tonight's episode of Yo Gabba Gabba. While he was reading it, Mahalia saw it, got excited and said "YOOO!" and started waving her arms around like she does when she dances to the show's theme song. Jeremy and I were both STUNNED! We continued watching whatever was on at the time, but Jeremy set the reminder timer for Yo Gabba Gabba. Well, later on Jeremy heard Mahalia say "YOOOO Ga"(or however she says it). We were both in the kitchen at the time, but when Jeremy looked around the corner, he saw that the one-minute reminder timer was on the screen and she was looking at it! We just couldn't believe it!! I know she watches that show a lot, but we have never sat down and told her that the words "Yo Gabba Gabba" mean the show that she loves so much!!